If you still need a little help with the distinctions, follow my adaptation to Brene` Brown’s BRAVING technique as it applies to your regular aromatherapy massage appointment. This will ensure you stay on the sphere of selfISH rather than SELFish.
It’s about committing to Self-Trust
Boundaries – Did I respect my own boundaries? It’s OK to book an aromatherapy massage rather than feel obligated to take your son/daughter to soccer. Let your partner do it this week and agree you will do it next week. Being rejuvenated and relaxed you will have more energy and vitality to be kind, considerate and empathetic rather than being cranky and resentful that you “HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE!!”. Your partner gets to spend quality time with the kids and that enhances their relationship. Win Win. SelfISH not SELFish
Reliable – Did I do what I said I was going to do? Honour yourself and balance competing prioritise. Commit to your scheduled time-out. Just as you would not miss an important scheduled meeting or family commitment, do not reprioritise your massage. Martyrdom has not been fashionable for many years.
Accountable – Did I hold myself accountable? If your scheduled massage suddenly impacts on work or family, apologise and make amends but you don’t have to reschedule, see “Did I respect my boundaries? and Non-judgement”.
Vault – Did I respect the vault and share appropriately? Remember you don’t have to share “everything” with your massage therapist.
Integrity – Did I choose courage over comfort? You choose what is right over what is fun, fast or easy. You choose to act your values rather than simply professing them. An important value for you in 2018 is taking better care of yourself. You need to take regular time out to recharge and rejuvenate to keep on top of your goals without burnout. You have a competing priority because you’re still working on your boundaries. Choose courage and keep your massage appointment even though its not comfortable, easy or fun to say no to your boss, client, partner, kids etc.
Non-judgement – Did I ask for what I need? Was I non-judgemental about needing help? If you come up against a competing priority, ask for what you need (your massage) and don’t judge yourself about needing help with the priority. Go to your massage appointment.
Generous – Was I generous towards myself? Honour yourself. Are you extending the most generous interpretation possible to your intentions, words and actions. Ie. It is not SELFish to have a regular aromatherapy massage. Affirm; I honour my need for rejuvenation and enjoy the energy and vitality I have to be happy, healthy and productive. I live my dreams in 2018.