The Best Laid Plans
A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true. – Greg S. Reid
It’s January and many of us are setting our goals for 2018, planning the steps we need to take to achieve our dreams and blocking out time in the diary to take those actions.
We find it pretty easy to plan and prioritise time for our business and professional goals. Often we fail to plan time for our health and wellbeing goals. Or if we do, it gets moved or worse still cancelled for other competing priorities.
Take a minute to reflect on the previous twelve months.
How many times did you cancel that much needed “time out” to recharge your batteries, because a work or family “something” became the bigger priority?
How many times did exhaustion and/or you being physically unwell, compromise the success of your best laid plans? Be honest.
SELFish VRS SelfISH
Here’s why I think we find it difficult to prioritise self-care in our daily routine.
We relate self-care to SELF-ish rather than self-ISH. Here’s my take on this concept first presented to me in Sarah Knight’s book “You do You”.
SELFish – Adj; lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. Synonym; inconsiderate, uncaring, unkind.
selfISH – Adj; concerned with the needs of self, taking care of self and also being mindful of how your actions affect others. Synonym; Putting on the oxygen mask before helping others, self-care, happiness.
Conclusion, don’t be SELFish but also don’t confuse SELFish with selfISH. It’s ok to be selfISH because in the words of Sarah Knight “being concerned with yourself doesn’t exclude you from ALSO being generous, caring, attentive and empathetic to others.”
I completely agree.
Being selfISH means you give yourself permission to prioritise self-care as being as important as your family and career. In fact achieving happiness in all areas of your life requires you to take care of yourself.
Living The Dream With Aromatherapy Massage
If you still need a little help with the distinctions, follow my adaptation to Brene` Brown’s BRAVING technique as it applies to your regular aromatherapy massage appointment. This will ensure you stay on the sphere of selfISH rather than SELFish.
It’s about committing to Self-Trust
Boundaries – Did I respect my own boundaries? It’s OK to book an aromatherapy massage rather than feel obligated to take your son/daughter to soccer. Let your partner do it this week and agree you will do it next week. Being rejuvenated and relaxed you will have more energy and vitality to be kind, considerate and empathetic rather than being cranky and resentful that you “HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE!!”. Your partner gets to spend quality time with the kids and that enhances their relationship. Win Win. SelfISH not SELFish
Reliable – Did I do what I said I was going to do? Honour yourself and balance competing prioritise. Commit to your scheduled time-out. Just as you would not miss an important scheduled meeting or family commitment, do not reprioritise your massage. Martyrdom has not been fashionable for many years.
Accountable – Did I hold myself accountable? If your scheduled massage suddenly impacts on work or family, apologise and make amends but you don’t have to reschedule, see “Did I respect my boundaries? and Non-judgement”.
Vault – Did I respect the vault and share appropriately? Remember you don’t have to share “everything” with your massage therapist.
Integrity – Did I choose courage over comfort? You choose what is right over what is fun, fast or easy. You choose to act your values rather than simply professing them. An important value for you in 2018 is taking better care of yourself. You need to take regular time out to recharge and rejuvenate to keep on top of your goals without burnout. You have a competing priority because you’re still working on your boundaries. Choose courage and keep your massage appointment even though its not comfortable, easy or fun to say no to your boss, client, partner, kids etc.
Non-judgement – Did I ask for what I need? Was I non-judgemental about needing help? If you come up against a competing priority, ask for what you need (your massage) and don’t judge yourself about needing help with the priority. Go to your massage appointment.
Generous – Was I generous towards myself? Honour yourself. Are you extending the most generous interpretation possible to your intentions, words and actions. Ie. It is not SELFish to have a regular aromatherapy massage. Affirm; I honour my need for rejuvenation and enjoy the energy and vitality I have to be happy, healthy and productive. I live my dreams in 2018.
Get out your Coloured Pens and Start Scheduling
I love using colour to inspire me in my planning. I have a different colour for different activities I schedule into my week.
This year I have scheduled daily self-care activities adapting the High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) principal to my daily routine. Read my blog titled The Upside to Downtime, for more information. Click here.
I have also scheduled regular massage to as it has so many benefits including supporting quality sleep, relieving physical, mental and emotional stress and tension, supporting the body’s natural processes of elimination (detox support), increased mental focus and clarity, increased energy and vitality.
If you would like to find out more about how aromatherapy massage can delight your senses and improve your health and wellbeing have a look at my website, give me a call or save time and book a massage appointment online.
I have a 1/2 price special for the month of January on the Joyful Wellbeing package. 90 minute aromatherapy massage for just $75.
Yours in Living Well,